Mother's Day & Overanalyzing

As of late, I have been waking up in the morning with my four-year-old (the Oldest Boy Child or the OBC) in my bed. I can hear the protesting parents now: You shouldn't let your child sleep in your bed! I am very well aware of this, I assure you. I am a huge fan of being the only one in bed with my husband, however, I am generally unaware that a third party has entered the bed (OMG - get your mind out of the gutter...we're talking about my kid here, sheesh!) until it's time for me to get up. Said third party has either managed to steal the covers from both of us, keep us precariously perched on the edge of the mattress, draped an obtrusive limb across one or both of us (the leg across my face was classic!) or treated us to the putrescent essence of the Ghosts of Pop-Tarts Past bathing our faces in rhythmic invisible waves. (funky Pop-Tart breath, get it? Okay...moving on...) That all being said, I somehow thought yesterday that I would at least have been treated to a half-hearted 'Happy Mother's Day' from the OBC since my hubby had been coaching the boys on the endearment all day Saturday. But no. All I got was a grumble and a request to let him go to my mother's house so he could see his cousin who had spent the night before. Thanks. Love you, too, kiddo. The LBC, on the other hand, pounced me in bed, declaring, 'HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MAMA!'

Guess who's getting a car on his 16th birthday?

While waiting for dinner to cook at my mom's last night (which had been delayed due to the epic amount of scalloped potatoes refusing to cook until they were darn well good and freaking ready to do so), my mother, my niece, the boys, and I decided to watch the Dora the Explorer Mother's Day Special. In doing so, I learned a few things: Dora's Papi is a horrible planner, some trees bear large pieces of milk-chocolate in lieu of fruit, and some muggers are polite and will leave their victims alone if asked to.

Dora and her Papi decided to surprise her Mami with her favorite dessert: Chocolate Banana Nut Cake. They realized quickly, however, that they lacked some key ingredients, those being the chocolate, the bananas and the nuts. That's totally understandable, right? I mean, if I had a nickel for every time I forgot the oatmeal and raisins when I went to make oatmeal raisin cookies...but I digress.. So what does Papi do? He sends his grade-school-aged daughter into the woods to do a little grocery shopping. Genius, Papi - I have half a mind to call Child Protective Services on your poor-planning behind. Again with the digressing... So she's sent into the woods with her little grocery list instructing her to retrieve ten bananas, six nuts (which looked suspiciously like acorns, and come on - who doesn't love acorns in their Chocolate Banana Nut Cake?), and one large piece of chocolate from the chocolate tree. Chocolate tree? O.O For serious? Sign me the heck up for the next Arbor Day Tree Plantathon because I'm planting a fricken forest in my backyard for realz. *coughs* Sorry. Where were we? Oh yes. The mugging. Yes, Dora's poor, stocky, blue bovine friend is mugged by a fox for his cowbell. Or was her Rainbow-Bright-Reincarnated-as-a-Squirrel buddy mugged for his bracelet-o-nuts? I can't remember. The action was so fantastic, I could barely keep up. Regardless, one of Dora's friends had something swiped by the fox, but his plans were ultimately thwarted. Is Dora secretly a ninja, masquerading as a super-helpful-friend-to-all-the-animals backyard adventurer? Sadly, no (a shame, that...since such a plot would be epic). All they had to do was simply ask their would-be attacker three times to not swipe their goodies. Who needs pepper spray, right? (totally kidding - don't ever assume your mugger will be this polite - spiced-up temporarily blinded muggers are your best bet).

So the moral of today's post? Wish your mama a Happy Mother's Day and Dora the Explorer is freaking awesome.

What? You didn't get that from my story? What blog have you been reading?

Eye Color and Fanfiction

I woke up this morning with a sudden realization: My youngest son's eyes are blue.


He will be turning four-years-old next month, so his eye color should come as no surprise, however, it was my first thought upon waking up.


Why, do you ask? This is what happened:


Littlest Boy Child (referred to from here on out as “LBC”): Mama.....mama!


Me: (grumbles) Mrnermener..ugh..


LBC: Mamaaaaaaaaa......


Me: (picking my head up from the pillow) What?


LBC: (getting right in my face) I have blue eyes.


Me: (squinting...reluctantly realizing that I'm awake) Yes, baby. You sure do.


LBC: Uh huh. I do. I want some Pop Tarts.


Once upon a time, I used to wake up to, “G'mornin', Mama,” or “I love you, Mama.”


(sigh)


In other news, my oldest son wanted me to read Hansel and Gretel to him this morning. I reluctantly read it to him last night and was actually quite nervous that he would have nightmares. I know the kid's version is a lot less gruesome than the way it was originally written, but still...child abandonment? Cannibalism? This is a kid's story?? He didn't seem to mind though, so I read it to him again today. Of course, he asked me to read it more than once. Afterward, he then decided that he would read it to me.


Me: Go for it, kiddo!


He will be turning five-years-old next month and, no, he doesn't know how to read yet. However, he had the gist of the story memorized and following along with the pictures, he did a really good job. I was proud. When he was done, he asked if I wanted him to read it again and I agreed. This time, though, he decided to make up his own story where the kids stole the witch's candy instead of her jewels and they took the hunter's horse for a ride through the woods.


My son is apparently a fanfiction author. I don't know if I should be concerned or proud.